This is one quote that I really liked a lot: "True friends are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for awhile. Even after years apart, you pick up with them right where you left off, and even if they die they're never dead in your heart." I guess one of the reasons why I like this quote is that it's so true.
One of the reasons why I love old friends is the memories that you share with them. One of my old friends that I have had since 1st grade affected my life since she has been in my life for so long. In a way, this post is sort of a dedication to you, Jennifer, because you have just been so great of an influence. Thanks for being my first real best friend.
Although I moved away before Jennifer and I could really develop any type of close relationship, we were close enough to understand where we were and remember each other. We keep in touch, and this relationship, as I said, affected me to a great degree. In 5th grade, we had an extended conversation. I remember that our talks became more and more awkward now that we were growing apart. We started having different interests, different friends, different spheres of what our world was defined by. We still called each other friends, but we were never real friends anymore. This one talk was the longest that we would ever had again.
You were talking about accepting who you really are. I remember being skeptical about everything. The reason why I was so skeptical was because I kept thinking, "We are in 5th grade! What is this talk about "accepting ourselves"?! Aren't only teenagers supposed to think this?" I was kinda ignorant of the minds of people then. But then you were talking about liking girls. Truthfully, at that time, I had no idea what you were talking about. Liking girls? I had never been exposed to this topic before. Liking girls was a kind of taboo topic that I never dared talk about with my mom. Only later did I know that being lesbian in my family was as close as you can get to sentencing yourself to death in this family. Please don't ask me to explain. It's too complicated for me to explain. Maybe in some later post.
Liking girls. An euphemism for being lesbian. I wish I was there to know what to say, Jenny. I really do. But then, I didn't even know that it was possible to like people of the same sex.
But I guess what affected me the most about that conversation was that you were already on your way to accepting who you truly are. I haven't even given a thought to what I was even yet. Hell, I haven't found out anything when I was in 5th grade. And you were already thinking such complex thoughts. Many people don't think of such things until they hit high school or something. Which is what I'm doing now.
Our conversations turned to be less and less common as time went on. As I said before, our personalities have diverged. Different personalities, not seeing each other for a long period of time. Pretty soon after that, we stopped talking to each other altogether. We stopped being friends altogether.
As I said, friends for any period of time leave a mark on your heart. No matter how careful you are, true friends always find a way to find a place in your heart to always remain in. They leave a mark in your heart, no matter how hard you try to abolish them from memory.