01 May 2012
Letter to A Friend
My first thought when I see you is that I like your smile. I always think that you are a really pretty person, but I never said that because I'm afraid that it'll come out wrong. You are with your friends, and I didn't want to disturb you. Then you happen to see me, and you say my name. For a little while, I like my name just because you said it. I know it's crazy, but that's what I happened to think.
I've never been good with saying my feelings, but I've always been able to write them down. So this is for you.
Your going back to Pennsylvania in a few months, and I haven't seen you much after school. When we talk, I'm always so awkward, and there isn't much to talk about. Sometimes, I'm tired of talking of myself, but I'm often too distracted to ask how you have been. Whenever I don't see you around school, I get kinda worried about how you've been. Questions swirl in my head, "Is she sick? Should I call her to ask if she's okay? Will she be at track practice today? Will I get to see her even if she is in track?" I know that I should let you talk more, but I never wanted to interrupt what you were saying, because you always immediately went to go ask how someone else had been. We've never really hung out before, as both of us seemed to miss each other and we never really had time.
Through the time that I got to know you, I have grown to care for you as a friend. Although I know that I don't have to prove that I care, I would do anything to show that I care. You have been like a big sister to me, listening to what I had to say and solving some of my problems. The only thing was I never had a way to express what I actually felt. For the most part, I feel awkward saying such things. Like, what was I supposed to say? "Oh, hey, I care about you. Just felt like saying what I truly feel." What I fear is the stare of shock as my words are perceived in the wrong way.
The face that you make whenever you laugh crack me up every single time. You don't need makeup to look beautiful, you already are. That's corny, but yes, you are.