Originally, this was supposed to be two posts, but I felt that I could put it all in one. There has been a lot of negative thoughts, and I feel as if I have a need to say it all. I had a serious conversation with my best friend Erin, and it has solved most of my problems.
"Yo, Gina. So how has your friends in South Pas been treating you?"
"Um, alright, I guess."
"Yeah? Your tone suggests something different. Don't try to lie."
"There has just been a lot of things going on between us, and there hasn't been much time to talk about all of these problems."
"Oh, I see. You see, I stalked your friends via Facebook by hacking your account, and I've noticed something that holds my interest like no other."
"And that would be?"
"Have you noticed that you have virtually no pictures with your friends? Or should I put quotes around the word "friend"? Its as if they're ashamed to be seen in public with you. It's like they don't want their Facebook timeline or whatever to be tainted with your presence."
"I'm sure its not like that."
"Gina, don't play stupid. Sometimes its maddening how you pretend to be as stupid as you are now. How many times have they called you to see how you were doing? How many times have your supposed older mentor called to see how you were doing? Do they even care how you are? I bet having to hang out with you is more of an obligation to them than something that they enjoyed to do. Aren't you tired of seeing pictures of them hanging out when you stayed home? Aren't you tired of seeing the looks that they give to each other and then see them look at you? Why can't they be as close to you as they are with each other? Answer me that one question."
"Exactly. You have nothing. Your family had economic issues about two months ago. But do your friends help you at all? No, instead they turn around and call you a liar. And what's that girl's name...she's the one that moved back to the east coast some time ago. I forget her name. But she was only around for a while, and you had deep friend feelings for her. It doesn't seem to me as if she wants to be friends with you. Just saying. It's just that friends like them too polite to say so."
"I guess I can see where you're coming from."
"You'd better. And if I may, I would like to quote Whitney Houston by saying 'I'd rather be alone than be unhappy'. Its time to live life alone at school because obviously no one there gives a damn about you. They probably hate your guts but simply don't say so. You should have paid attention to me when I told you to not give any feelings to those in your school. In this regard, I'm afraid you have received an F. You have too many feelings for them. It's time to break up."
"I'm going out. I'm done listening to this mantra. I have to think. I'm not the person who just does that."
"Remember, you're smarter than you pretend to be. I trust you to listen to me."