10 December 2012

Closeness



The other day, I was watching Glee, and I was overcome with a thought. Despite the corniness of some parts of the show, such as stereotypical characters, I found myself asking myself if I had friends like that. Friends who would stand up for me no matter what.

Glee isn't the only show that shows best friends. There is Grey's Anatomy, Spongebob Squarepants. Everyone deserves a best friend.

I guess I have two best friends. Erin and Char. But I don't spend school-time with them. Erin is in college. Char goes to a different school. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that I am spending most of my time with people that will never be there for me. Those who "care" are apparently OK with not talking to me for days, if not weeks. But at least I have two people who will always be there for me.

Furthermore, I have realized that I must shed my usually negative attitude. Both of my friends have talked to me about not caring for people who obviously do not care about me. It is time for me to start following their advice. It is my senior year in high school, and I plan on making full use of it. I don't have time to waste people who spout lies in my ear.

Closeness between friends are developed between two people. It can't just be one-sided. It is so unfair that I should be making time for people who will not make time for me. Since I am so sick and tired of people making up excuses when there are no excuses, I'll just choose to not listen to them anymore. I have two close friends already, which is enough. My theory is that I can always have a support system in college. 

I believe that it is never too late to start with something new. I might be a loner right now at school, but I believe as long as I am happy with my current situation, I should be fine.

Erin has always told me that being in the toxic relationships that I have been in the past year and a half, I was destroying myself. Now, I know I should have listened to her advice earlier. I guess I was just too weak to let go at the time. But since I had been happy before I had these supposed "friends", I can be happy without them. Forget the excuses. I have come to the conclusion that if people really like you and care for you, they will never make excuses. They will never doubt you for who you are and who you have been. If they doubt you, it shows that they never cared in the first place. If they forget about you, they never wanted you by their side. True friends don't forget or doubt. If they do, they're just hypocrites when they say they care.

Sorry for such a long post, but I felt that I had to announce this change in perspective. Just felt that I had to get this out there. The fact that I am planning on making a change in life.